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There's quite a lot of the occult world readily available to us nowadays, thanks in no small part to the technological wonder that is the internet.
From a young age I was brought up on the tales of Arthur and Merlin, Lord of the Rings, and other fantastic tales that prompted my imagination to run wild. As it turns out imagination plays no small part in the world of the occult. Little did I know at the time some of the lessons and embedded secrets some of these tales contained in both published content and the origins thereof.
So, we all "started" somewhere. Strange acts as a young child such as drawing sigils in primary school because "it was fun and looked cool" aside, something close to a beginning for me was as a teen on dial-up googling and torrenting what I could find on various topics. Was I looking for secrets? Real magick? Did I want to cast fireballs? You bet your arse.
Here's a short list in no particular order of some of my early influences, pored over in the wee hours many years ago.
Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa - Occult philosophy, correspondences, etc.
Swami Panchadasi - Auras, astral, clairvoyance and other clair-abilities.
Aleister Crowley - Inspired my deep dive in to religious and mythological correspondence. *
Austin Osman Spare - Chaote gonna chaote.
*Whilst I never got in to officially practicing Thelema or other things that Crowley was associated with, I found the ideas presented - especially the relationships and overlap between various cultures such as is found in Liber 777 - intriguing. Once I began to look in to various cultures differences in religious and occult practices, I quickly found myself thinking: well - what's the common denominator here? What is the core of magick that is being utilized by everyone?
Come on, you should know. Of course I dare mock you.
My story is strange.
As a young child, as in pre-7, my mom tells me I would regale her with stories about a mermaid who would come and take me flying every night. It was apparently a big thing in my childhood, but I don't remember it much. I wonder what that mermaid taught me back then, when I was still too young to clearly remember? Maybe it impressed itself somewhere upon my future?
My mom always read to me as a little kid, one of the earliest I remember is The Hobbit. But, because of her reading to me nightly, I became a very proficient and happy reader. The reading curriculum at school was so basic and underwhelming it never posed a challenge for me. But I think this is just because I've been reading forever (makes me remember, I need to go to the damn library soon).
At 7, I had an entity visit me and tell me about my past life on another planet, or maybe another dimension. I'm not going to get into the specifics here, because it's certainly worthy of at least its own post, but basically, my contact with entities started back then. The entity that gave me this information called itself my "guardian spirit", and its name was Lu.
My mom was always New Age variant spiritual, so ironically, I actually rebelled against this pretty hard. I thought the new age was cheesy, hookey, and illogical. Which, it's not that I like that particular iteration of the occult even now. I find it similar to the "self-help" section, a breeding ground for financial scams and sex-crazed gurus posed as yogis or whatever. However, I've warmed to it now that I understand there are plenty of good parts of the New Age potluck that are simply there because society doesn't have a name for anything "spiritual, but not religious".
Back as a teen though, I really did reflex hard in the opposite direction. all of those things my guardian entity told me, I shoved to the side and passed off as the fantasy delusions of a child. I became a materialist, rationalist, atheists, determinist. I read "The God Delusion" like all edgy hardcore 'intellectuals'. However, I did another thing: I got into reading about psychology. Like hardcore reading, Freud, Jung, the DSM (4, at the time).
Jung is the one who gave me "an out". For example, I was a tarot reader who had all these strong opinions on materialism. How could I justify that? Jung gave me the collective archetypes of the unconscious to justify that. Which meant that with or without the occult, the themes of the tarot were projections of the human experience, and thus what we interpreted there in the cards would always reveal something about our psychology. I didn't even need the occult to explain it anymore.
I hadn't "yet" "discovered" synchronicity, but another hard thing broke my stance. At like 15, I began developing a mortality complex and was reading stuff like buddhist and existentialist philosophy. These ideas made sense to me, and started to become quite comfortable. But what really did it was at the age of 15, my father bought me a layperson's book on quantum physics written by a pretty well known author. If I could still remember the title, it would be the sort of book you might remember from Barnes and Nobles' "non-fiction best sellers" table. A very approachable, although still quite intellectually challenging, description of theories and findings of that field.
I remember reading about the double slit experiment for the first time.
This was back before literally everyone and their mother realized, "well doesn't the waveform collapse being initiated by the observer mean that consciousness collapses the waveform"?
Nobody was saying this back then. The author of that book didn't even cursorily approach that. It didn't take too long before books about this started appearing (I think I was about 17 when I saw "the self-aware universe" in the science section, about this very subject, and freaked out)
but what mattered TO ME, was that I figured this out myself back then.
And it made me realize that in light of what I'd learned, I had to rethink my entire stance about life.
Which developed naturally with my turning into a hippie stoner/lsd tripping rave goer or whatever in my late teens. That's when "synchronicity" appeared in my playbook. that was sort of the missing piece. Jung is responsible for the idea of synchronicity, but of course I didn't happen upon it until I was "ready to learn". And acid/lsd taught me things about synchronicity that made me realize just how little humans truly understood about consciousness.
At the risk of going on about this too long, I would say that's really the most important part: the foundation, really, for my delve into the rest of it.
You know what's kinda funny about this?
I read Jung's "Red Book" at about 18, I think that's when it came out.
And I realized through reading it, Jung went through a very similar kind of development.
I've always felt really attached to him on some kind of kindred level.
9/11 happened and I kept watching YouTube videos and went around the country learning various conspiracy theories and things not typically formally taught including the occult. I think the Theosophical Society in Wheaton, Illinois would be the most influential occult mysticism formal education I received, and of course, watching Caylus Ark YouTube videos.
Interesting stuff. I'm sure we all have a lot more details we could add, but these short insights to ourselves are cool. So far, three seemingly different paths that when you dig under the surface a little show a shared heading.
Come on, you should know. Of course I dare mock you.
Hard one for me coz I came into body remembering. Nothing drew me into certain directions physically. It was memories and experiences that made me question. Adults told me it’s just the imagination. Was not fluent reader growing up and internet was not a thing.
When I first got a computer around 24. I would blank stare at the Google search engine not a clue what to search. I had also forgotten all those memories and experiences. Well maybe not forget but more pushed back.
I sat staring at the screen and a advert popped up of giant skull heads. I spent hours fascinated and took me on some crazy search. Until I found meditative videos. That was when beings appeared and reactivated me. It’s always been a experience then hunt to find reason, meaning as to why I experience it. The more I unfolded.
”Strong women don't
have 'attitudes',
we have standards.”
I was always fascinated by the occult, but never wanted to be engaged in its practices, since I knew it's not really necessary in my own spiritual journey.
I never wanted to have this kind of power or control that such practices provides
We have the freedom you have always searched for
You're finding you don't need to look no more
You've done with waiting and your life is turning
You hear the melody of angels singing
Caylus Ark wrote: ↑Thu Dec 22, 2022 3:40 am
I remember reading about the double slit experiment for the first time.
This was back before literally everyone and their mother realized, "well doesn't the waveform collapse being initiated by the observer mean that consciousness collapses the waveform"?
Nobody was saying this back then. The author of that book didn't even cursorily approach that. It didn't take too long before books about this started appearing (I think I was about 17 when I saw "the self-aware universe" in the science section, about this very subject, and freaked out)
but what mattered TO ME, was that I figured this out myself back then.
Whether or not consciousness causes collapse is 100% irrelevant to the results of the experiment, because regardless of which of these is true, quantum mechanics tells us to expect observation to result in the loss of interference!
This is why whether or not consciousness causes collapse has no real impact on what pattern shows up in the wall. All interpretations of quantum mechanics agree that decoherence is a thing that can happen, and decoherence is all that is required to explain the experimental results. The double slit experiment provides no evidence for consciousness causing collapse, but it also provides no evidence against it. It’s just irrelevant to the question!
We have the freedom you have always searched for
You're finding you don't need to look no more
You've done with waiting and your life is turning
You hear the melody of angels singing
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